OLD MAN AND THE SEA
People need to make decisions every day. Some decisions are more important than others. Your decisions could be as minor as what you are going to order at a restaurant or as important as weather or not you are going to go running through a field wet and wearing metal armor during a thunder storm. I don’t think that what you order will affect you that much. But running through the field would be a very serious decision. Maybe you have a really good reason for it and maybe nothing bad will happen, but that’s the whole point of making decisions.
In the old man and the sea, the old man had to make lots of important decisions. One of the most important decisions is weather or not to take the boy with him. Some good things that could happen would be that the boy could keep the old man company and that the boy could help catch fish. Some bad things would be that the boy’s parents get mad because they told him not to go fishing with the old man and the boy could get hurt. In the end the old man chose not to bring the boy."No the old man said, your with a lucky boat. stay with them.'' p10.Maybe that was the right decision and maybe it wasn’t.
Another decision that the old man made was to keep going after the fish even when it went far out to sea. Now this decision was probably the wrong one since he lost most of his equipment, had the fish get eaten by sharks, and he hurt himself pretty bad. Now if he didn’t follow the fish so far he probably would have been better off. But who knows he might have hit some strong storm and have his ship sink if he went back sooner. ''Fsh that you are. I am sorry that i went too far out."p115. But maybe if he turned back he would have caught a bigger fish and be able to bring it back. You never can tell how a decision will work out.
Another decision that the old man made was hoe much to prepare for the trip. The old man didn’t bring any food. Only brought a bit of water and only had the necessary gear needed to catch a fish. There are so many things that he could have brought to make the trip easier."I wish I had some salt."p59. If he had a battleship he would have caught that fish in two seconds. (Although I doubt that the old man could get his hands on a battleship.) But even if he just had an extra harpoon or a radio his trip would of gone much smoother. "It would be wonderful to do this with a radio.p48. The radio would help him pass the long time on the boat, and the extra harpoon would have enabled him to fight off the sharks easier.
The truth is that decisions need to be made all the time. Some decisions are simpler then others like jumping off a cliff or not. And some decisions are more important than others. In the old man in the sea the old man had to make tons of decisions. And if he decided something differently then the whole book would have changed completely. But whatever floats your boat I guess.
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1. The essay's thesis is that all the time people have to make important decisions. It is pretty clear what the essay's thesis is. The focus of the essay stays pretty close to the essay's thesis. It is engaging to the reader.
ReplyDelete2. There are no quotations from the book in this essay. I would recommend putting them in.
3. I think that the organization of the essay was done really well. It flowed nicely and stayed on topic. "Maybe that was the right decision and maybe it wasn’t." The essay never goes on unrelated tangents.
4. The main weakness of this essay is the lack of quotations. Adding quotations would help support your points better and would make for a more complete essay. Other than that the essay was pretty well written.
"all the time people have to make important decisions" this is where the thesis is.
ReplyDeleteThe essay CLEARLY DID not have any quotations. This will be the downfall of the essay. If the author was to add the quotations that the essay would be good.
That way that the essay was set up was very good. "Maybe that was the right decision and maybe it wasn’t." The essay never goes on unrelated tangents.
The weakness would be that the essay didn't have any quotations.
I.The thesis is that we make decisions every day. That some are more important than others. It clearly states the thesis and gives you examples of his thesis. It engages the reader with examples of obstacles that can happen to an average person.
ReplyDeleteII. In this essay for some reason doesnt have any quotes. He needs to add some.
III. This essay really explains each example of his thesis. The flow of the Essay is very good also. Its ease to one to another.
IV. I think I would add some quotes to your essay so a person who hasn't read the book can see how your thesis is connected to the book. I thiught it was good, but forgot an important part.
The thesis is everyone has to make decisions each day. i think the thesis is pretty clear. It is also good. After searching the essay, I have not seemed to find any quotes... but i may be blind so excuse me if there are some. If there aren't any quotes you should consider adding some if you would like a suitable grade. I think the organization of the essay was good. It flowed nicely like lettuce. For each paragraph the author stayed on task. The weak point of this essay to my eye is the quotations. I believe there arent any so you should and some to represent.
ReplyDelete1. His thesis is that we all make decisions and there are always results of those small or large. It was very clear and VERY interesting, he even got a laugh from it.
ReplyDelete2. Unlike all that commented I read the question through. Therefore I can give you some advise. Yes the quotes are mui inportante but your arguments are VERY strong. The second is the best. It is very clear and convincing.
3. The strongest part of this essay would have to be the arguments, they are well thought out and very clear."If he had a battleship he would have caught that fish in two seconds. (Although I doubt that the old man could get his hands on a battleship.)"
4.You have already heard the the whole qoutes thing plenty of time so I would suggest putting in another argument since you only have two.
1. Kevin’s thesis is that people make a lot of important decisions and some are more important than others. This is said in the first paragraph in a clear and concise manner.
ReplyDelete2. Kevin conveniently left out his quotations in his essay; therefore I cannot choose a good one.
3. Kevin’s writing style is unique. I feel that it helps keep his readers hooked. I know I can never get bored reading one of his essays. “Maybe that was the right decision and maybe it wasn’t.” It feels like he is talking to the reader.
4. Kevin needs to put in the mandatory quotes into his story. This essay doesn’t have proof of the events taking place in the story.
The thesis is that Santiago has to make decision and they effect him. It is clear and concise. It engages me.
ReplyDeleteThere isnt any quotes. I think you should get some. Get some quotes.
The essay has a good introduction. It is very organized. It explains the examples of the essay.
The weakest aspect of this essay is that you should put in quotes. There should be quotes. Good job.
1.The thesis of the essay is that people have to make important decisions throughout life. The thesis is pretty clear and tells the reader what the essay is about.
ReplyDelete2.No quotes from the book were used, you should probably put some in!
3. I think that the introduction was good because it draws the reader in. I also thought the essay was very well organized and flowed nicely.
4.The weakest part of the essay is the lack of quotes. You should definitely put some in, they would support your arguments.
1. The thesis is People need to make decisions every day. Life is full of minor decisions that can influence greater decisions.
ReplyDelete2. No quotes.
3. I think this essay was very good. It got all of the key elements. It had a good introduction that caught my interest.
4. You got all the key elements, but the little supporting details are minimal. I would get some more evidence. But good essay.
The essays thesis is that people have to make important decisions all the time.
ReplyDeleteKevin didnt add any quotes to his essay.
I think the essay was pretty good. The introduction made me want to read more.
He needs more supporting details, but otherwise it's really good.
hey kevin ur soo cuel i wish i could b more like u
ReplyDeleteI. Your thesis isn't totally clear to me. Based on the introduction I know you will be talking about decision, but I have no idea it's going to have to relate to the OMS.
ReplyDeleteII. You should add some quotes and explain how those relate to decision making he has to do.
III. I like your writing style. You do a good job of explaining everything and nont just sticking to summary. Also the way you write it so freely and impersanally is really cool. I like that.
IV. I think you could do a little better on the conclusion. You do a good job of linking it backto everyday life, but you keep on going back to the OMS. Instead I think you should say all you have to say about the OMS at the beginning then go back to everyday life.
1. I think the thesis is that people make decisions and have to live with them. the only reason i think this is because it sounds like what i wrote and that's what i wrote about.
ReplyDelete2. I think the first quote is the best. It really relates to the topic at hand and is very easy and clear to read and understand.
3. I think something good is the organization. the paragraphs are clearly seperated making it very easy to understand and read.
4. something i would change is to give a little more emphasis on the thesis. make a little more clear to understand and interpret.